Why Divorce rates high in churches ?

The Senior Pastor of the Tema Community Four branch of the Central Assemblies of God Church, Reverend David Nabegmado, says divorce rates in churches are becoming alarming and need urgent attention.

He, therefore, urged the churches to counsel couples regularly, especially after marriage, to ensure that divorce cases were reduced.
Rev. Nabegmado, who was speaking at a vows renewal ceremony in Tema, said much attention was given to counselling on courtship, but that ended right after the couples had taken their marriage vows.
He also said limiting counselling to only courtship had contributed to the increased divorce cases in the church.
Rev. Nabegmado did not give figures to support his assertion, but the Ghana Statistical Service is reported to have indicated that about 600,000 marriages contracted in the country in 2014 collapsed. The number of divorce cases was said to be three times the number of divorce cases which occurred in England and Wales in 2012.

Renewal of marriage vows
The programme, dubbed ‘Renewal of Marriage Vows’, was organised by the Tema Community Four Central Assemblies of God Church with the aim of encouraging couples to be committed to their spouses at all times.
According to the church, the programme, the first of its kind, was meant to underscore the need to sustain marriages and for the couples to keep to the vows they made, to help reduce the high rate of divorce cases.
About 200 couples renewed their vows at the ceremony.
Commitment 
Rev. Nabegmado stated that the church, which was committed to ensuring that marriages were strengthened, taught the couples how to be patient and committed in their relationship.
He, however, debunked the notion that church members were forced into marriages, adding that in his local church, leaders taught and counselled members the right way to make marriages simple and ensure that the high divorce rates were  reduced.
Rev. Nabegmado urged the youth  to imbibe the value of chastity to ensure that their marriages were strengthened and lasted till death.

Over 12,000 couples divorce in A.M.A Ghana

A total of 4,080 divorce cases were recorded in Accra alone over the last eight years.

According to the Accra Metropolitan Assembly (AMA), the divorced marriages were mainly customary ones and occurred between 2006 and 2013.

Only the law courts have records of divorce in relation to ordinance marriage while the AMA keeps records of customary marriage and divorces.

Between January and April this year, the AMA recorded 204 divorce cases.

The highest divorce cases were recorded in 2006 - 633 cases; 2007 – 618; 2008 – 566; and 2011 - 504.

The year 2009 recorded the least number of cases of 407. This was followed by 427 cases in 2013, 468 in 2012, and 426 in 2010.

Within the same period, customary marriages registered are 2006 - 3,443; 2007 -1,541; 2008 - 2,087; 2009 - 2,309; 2010 - 3,426; 2011 - 4,082; 2012 - 4,270; and 2013 - 2,807.

Mr Fred Lumor, Head of Marriage Registry at AMA, said the figure could be higher if divorce cases for ordinance marriage were added.

He said even though notice of ordinance marriage is filed with the AMA and ordinance marriage conducted at the AMA, divorce figures are not filed at AMA.

He noted that under ordinance marriage, the couple files notice with AMA for 21 days, and if no objection is received, a certificate is issued to them to go ahead and get married.

Mr Lumor explained that after receiving the certificate, the couple has two months to get married, which they can do at a recognized church, Registrar General’s Department or at the AMA.

He was quick to add that objections can still be raised on the day of the marriage.

On customary marriage, he said the couple has to pick up a form at Ghana Publishing, fill, sign and go to court to prepare a statutory declaration to be done with their parents or relatives present.

Mr Lumor said the statutory declaration signed by a notary public officer is submitted to the AMA for scrutiny and approval.

Lawyers and marriage counsellors who spoke to The Finder attributed a number of factors for the increasing incidence of divorce cases.

One reason for divorce is the case of husbands beating their wives as a result of drug and alcohol use, financial difficulties, unemployment or frustrations.

Another reason is infidelity on the part of both parties as a result of prevailing conditions at home, especially when women are the breadwinners of the family, and some engage in infidelity to rake in additional money to make ends meet.

The lawyers and marriage counselors also mentioned the inability of a partner to satisfy the other sexually, as well as making the home not welcoming.

They stated that the inability of the man to provide for the needs of the family, such as feeding, housing and medicals, as a result of unemployment or underemployment also contributes to divorce.

5 Mysterious Facts Aout Divorce

Many people think they have it all figured out when it comes to divorce. The whole “50 percent of marriages end in divorce” statistic gets thrown around a lot. Everyone knows someone whose family was torn apart by it. But there’s so much more to know about ending marriages.

We gathered five things that may change your view about divorce. Check it out below:
#1. 50 Percent of Divorcees Regret Ending Their Marriage
Perhaps this means there is hope after all? A survey asked 2,000 UK men and women who are divorcees, or ended a relationship of at least five years, questions about their feelings over their breakups, and the answers were shocking. Half of them said they regret splitting ways, 54 percent had second thoughts, and 42 percent considered giving their relationship another try.
#2. The More You Get Remarried, The More Likely You’ll Get Divorced
Some believe you should try and try again when it comes to love, but should the same thought process go into marriage? Statistically, the answer is no. According to Divorce Statistics, the divorce rate for a first marriage is between 41 percent to 50 percent; second marriages have a divorce rate of 60 percent to 67 percent; and for third marriages, the divorce rate is between 73 percent to 74 percent.
#3. Divorce Rates are the Highest in the South
Since the South is usually pegged as being more tied to tradition and religion, you wouldn’t think it would have that high of a divorce rate. However, according to the Census Bureau’s last report comparing the country’s divorce rates, the South has the highest rate of divorce compared to other parts of the country (in 2009). Their rate of divorce was 10.2 per 1,000 men and 11.1 per 1,000 women. On the flip side, the Northeast had the lowest rate of divorce.
#4. Only ONE U.S. President Has Been Divorced
It’s kind of an unwritten rule that presidents have to appear to have a picture-perfect family. Because of that, only one U.S. President has been divorced, and that man was Ronald Reagan. In 1940, Reagan married actress Jane Wyman but later divorced in 1948. They had a daughter named Maureen and adopted a son named Michael together. He then remarried to an actress named Nancy Davis in 1952. They then had two children, Patricia and Ronald.
#5. Couples With Longer Commutes Are More Likely To Divorce
You might have never put these two things together, but if you commute at least 45 minutes one-way to work then your marriage is at risk, according to research done by Erica Sandow of Umea University in Sweden. Sandow tracked millions of people from 1995 to 2005. Of those people, 14 percent of couples in which one or both people had to commute at least 45 minutes broke up. On the other hand, 10 percent of couples with smaller commutes broke up. Just another reason long commutes are ruining your life.

 

- See more at: http://citifmonline.com/2014/09/13/the-statistics-of-separation-5-shocking-facts-about-divorce/#sthash.WWE6Z034.dpuf

600,000 marriages contracted in Ghana Collapse Every Year !

I like Bishop Dag Heward-Mills for his frankness and confrontational honesty. While pundits and journalists extolled the peace-loving nature of Ghanaians and the fairness of our justice system for allowing the results of our 2012 elections to be contested in the Supreme Court, Bishop Heward-Mills dished out the real truth about the people of Ghana: We are hypocrites and not as religious as we think. We are not a sincere people if we cannot conduct genuine elections when nearly 70% of Ghanaians go to church and some 18% go to the mosque to flaunt their faith in God. It’s all a façade. Well, there is another disturbing revelation about the hypocrisy of the people of Ghana that shakes the foundations of our family values and traditional beliefs. Last week, the Ghana Statistical Service reported that nearly 600,000 marriages contracted in Ghana have collapsed, more than three times the divorce cases of England and Wales put together in 2012. Yet we have always lamented the divorce rates in countries in the West, and patted ourselves for not being as vane and irreligious as other people. On Joy FM’s Ghana Connect, my favourite journalist, Evans Mensah, sampled the views of a marriage counsellor, radio relationship talk show host, and married Ghanaians in Ghana and abroad. While many of them put it down to boring sex, the marriage counsellor threw some brilliant flashes of thoughtful insight on something we all take for granted: The reasons that compel any couple to divorce predate the marriage. In other words, the couple knew the reasons before they said ‘I do’, but they decided to ignore them. The other revelation was that men marry for two reasons: beauty and a very canal desire for legal and regular sex. Women want comfort and good sex, and often need men to understand that sex can be rationed like Akosombo electricity. Sex is a taboo subject in many Ghanaian marriages, it was also revealed. Couples find it difficult or perhaps ‘culturally inappropriate’ to discuss details of their sex lives and agree on sexual positions that promote better orgasms and great kinky satisfaction. Well, that is also true for the people of other cultures, especially in the West. The average white woman respects the boundaries of womanly modesty, and is usually not able to demand sex from her husband with brazen confidence. Like Ghanaian women, they can bear with bad sex and pretend it’s all good and stay married, because of the children. Like our women, they know sex is initiated by men and are only expected to respond. Those who do wife swaps are considered weird by their own families. I know this because I have had common law relationships with English and Canadian women. Apart from the food and language, and some manifestations of cultural differences, it is the same as living with a Ghanaian wife. ‘Fa ma Nyame’ is not an arbitrator in Ghana alone; most cultures let go and let God–for the sake of peace. So what has accounted for the many cases of divorce in Ghana when the people of cultures we have always branded ‘ungodly’ and ‘culturally unrestricted’ are keeping their marital vows? After staying away for twelve years in other cultures, I came to Ghana in January this year to find a society that still keeps the values of our forefathers, but has grown with the times to put survival and interest first, and society second. While many Ghanaian ladies would want to marry before having children, and not as single mothers, it is no more shameful to have a child out of wedlock. There is a growing number of middle-level career women in Ghana who have walked out of their marriages to be proud single mums. They are not in a rush to marry again, and they are not bothered. Similarly, there are successful Ghanaian men who are happy being good fathers to children from ‘baby mamas’. Their refrain is ‘we have a child together’ and they don’t intend marrying the mother of the baby. The two understand the terms of the relationship and do not see themselves as breaking any rules. They are not rushing to pose for cameras before a gathering of hypocrites to obtain permission to be happy or accepted. If society has prescribed norms for decency, society should accommodate the interests of people who have dared to choose another route to happiness. Ghanaians are marrying early these days, and it is very good. I have seen a few 25 year old young men who are married or are planning to settle down with their young sweethearts. There are better and well-paying employment opportunities in the country than what we found when we left university in the 90s and early 2000s. Our churches literally force young people to do ‘the right thing’ to avoid the temptation of fornication. Counselling sessions are quickly arranged for two youngsters who give the slightest indication of some form of friendship. They are prepared for an event, not marriage. Marriage experts say that quickie marriages lead to snappy divorces. Similarly, very expensive marriages do not work, especially when couples use another person’s marriage as a target, and set out to outspend them. Roverman’s Uncle Ebo Whyte warns of terrible consequences for such marriages. These also add to the divorce rate. Usually, we blame influences from foreign cultures for these problems. But what reasons do we have to blame the West when our friends in Britain are sticking to their vows when 600,000 of us have already been married and divorced. Some say a fraction of the huge figure may be the result of fraudulent marriages, where Ghanaians living abroad fly home to sign marriage papers with their relatives, to facilitate their travel abroad. Those marriages are abrogated the same day their visa is approved. Anyhow, we have a national crisis on our hands. A society that cannot hold family together cannot stand together. And when we don’t stand together, we cannot build a society. Source: Kwesi Tawiah-Benjamin